Blood or Body
by morgaineoftheisle
Summary: Edward is intoxicated by Bella's scent, but something else happens that he doesn't expect. Which will he choose, her blood or body?


**DISCLAIMER: I don't own the story. Stephanie Meyer does. **

Blood or Body

I walked into the cafeteria and sat down quietly. _Just another day, _I thought to myself. Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie sat around me chattering to each other. Days like this, I wished I weren't alone, but I was used to it now. It had always been that way, but there had never been anyone that made me feel the way Emmett felt toward Rosalie or Jasper toward Alice.

"There's a new girl today." Alice piped in. "She seems kind of nice. Chief Swan's daughter." Alice looked a little curious and slightly suspicious as she said.

"Um," I grunted. Alice had always hoped that someone, whether vampire or human, would one day catch my heart. I had given up at this point and hoped that she finally would as well. At that moment, I heard several voices chiming in about this girl, Isabella Swan, or Bella, as she preferred. Apparently, all the boys were idiotically trying to impress her. It was a disgusting display. Rather embarrassing for the male gender, I thought. That girl, Jessica, the one that constantly stared at me with annoyance and desperation at the same time, was slightly jealous of the attention this new girl brought with her, but all the same, she kept her close. I glanced over at this girl, Bella Swan. I had to admit, I did not see anything special. Was I missing something? She had long brown hair. It was nice a supposed. It looked soft enough. She seemed slightly paler than the humans. Wasn't it sunny in Arizona? She wasn't especially ugly, but I didn't see anything _special_.

At that moment, Bella looked up at me. She and Jessica were talking about me. I turned away, but I was suddenly bothered by something. Why couldn't I hear what she was thinking? I could hear Alice's thoughts, always about her Jasper, and I could here so many other thoughts crowding into my mind. I could hear Jessica sighing as she fantasized about me, but the new girl—nothing. Why couldn't I read her thoughts? I tried to zone in on just her and shut everything out. Nothing! What was wrong with me? This was starting to infuriate me just a bit. Alice must have picked up on it.

"Edward. Are you okay? You look like someone just slapped you in the face."

I snapped back to reality and looked at Alice trying to hide my frustration. "It's nothing Alice. I'm fine." As I looked at Alice, though, I got the strangest sense that she was blocking something from me. Alice could see into the future. Most of the time, I could automatically see it as well by reading her thoughts. As of late, Alice had learned how to block some things from me that she didn't want me to know.

"What is it Alice? What are you hiding from me?" I said this as I growled slightly.

"Touchy, Edward, touchy. If I wanted you to know, I would let you see it. You'll just have to wait." She smiled this almost evil smile. "Sorry Edward. Time for class." She pointed at the clock, and then looked at me and beaming one last time as she hurried away. _Great. Thanks Alice._ I thought to myself. It was easier for her to hide it from the further away she was from me.

I went to class and sat down. Biology….again. How many more years could I take repeating high school? Talk about torture. As I sat there, I began thinking about Bella again. Why was she bothering me so much more than the other humans. She's nothing. At that moment, I could hear the thoughts of the boys coming down the hall. Bella was coming to this classroom with Mike Newton following her like a lost puppy. Some of the thoughts he was having about her were downright despicable. They entered the room, and I glanced up, trying to hear her thoughts as she talked to the teacher. Again, nothing. All I could hear were Mike's disgusting fantasies about her. At that moment, the teacher showed her the empty desk next to mine. Maybe now I could find out what was going on inside this mystery girl's head, but why did I care so much. Like I said, this girl was nothing to me. Nothing at all. _Keep trying to convince yourself of that, _I thought to myself, my conscience betraying , the fan blew on her as she walked across the classroom, blowing her long, brown hair through the wind. With it came her scent as it lingered in my nose, making my nostrils flare. At that moment, everything else stopped. That scent! It was the most wonderful scent. I had to have her, taste her. In my mind, I was already out of my desk, holding her in my arms, leaning in to taste the sweet scent. What was happening to me? Never before had my blood lust taken over like this, not even as a newborn. All I knew was that if I did not taste her blood right now, I would go crazy. I told myself I needed to get control. I gripped my fists and held my breath telling myself it would be fine, but she was moving closer to me. This would not do. She sat down next to me and glanced in my direction. I caught her stare as I glared at her with my bloodthirsty eyes. She had to see the monster brewing inside of me. She must have because she sat cautiously and covered half her face with her hair as if to shield herself from me. As if that could work.

All through class, I kept telling myself I was stronger than this. Scenario after scenario kept running through my head. I imagined killing the whole classroom, leaving her for last. I imagined grabbing her and jumping out the window and running into the woods. I thought about going to her home tonight and finding her there. All that mattered was drinking from that sweet essence. Whatever it took, I had to have it now. The monster in me refused to listen to the voice that reminded me of my family. What would Carlisle think? The monster did not care what Carlisle would think. I kept wondering how long before Alice would break through that door and stop me. So far, no Alice. Maybe that means I am stronger. Wouldn't she have a vision of this?

Just when I felt the monster give in just a little bit, I breathed in. A huge mistake. The monster erupted again, and I clenched my fists, nostrils flaring. I glanced at Bella again, but she still was sitting far away from me with her hair in her face. She must know something. I started to come up with a plan. I needed to at least find out what she thought of me at this point. After class, I would find a way to get her alone. It wouldn't be that hard. Like most girls, she would easily go with me, if I asked without the monster scowling. My body relaxed as I decided I would get her alone after class. I started to fantasy about smelling her scent, tasting it. She smelled so intoxicating. Could I get drunk off of her scent? At that moment, the bell rang. Bella started to get up. I could see she was trying not to make contact with me.

"Bella," I called out in my sweetest, least monstrous voice. Bella turned around, surprised.

"Yes," she said, trying not to look at me, but I could see her struggle with the attempt.

"I'm sorry I didn't introduce myself before. I'm Edward Cullen." I smiled my most inviting smile. The one that made most girls blush with excitement.

"Nice to meet you, Edward." She, shyly, smiled. She wanted to turn away, quickly, but she couldn't. I could tell. She was already being drawn in to my every word.

I studied her for a quick second. _This will definitely be easy_. I thought to myself as I smiled back.

"Sorry I seemed ill-tempered when you came in. Never eat the fish sticks for lunch." I smiled playfully.

She smiled back with a little bit of relief. "No worries. I'm not much for fish sticks anyway." She looked around the room and realized we were alone. "Well, I need to get to my next class…..first day and all."

"What class do you have next?" I pretended to be interested.

"Gym," she said with a scowl.

"You don't like Gym." I asked, pretending more interest.

"Not very coordinated." She looked down, apparently embarrassed.

I stood up and stepped closer to her. There was nothing stopping me. No one was here as a witness. _Where was Alice to stop me!_ Her scent aroused my senses, taking over all of me. She looked back up to me, surprised to see how close I was standing to her. I could feel her breath and her heart race as she looked up and smiled shyly and with a hint of fear. Before I knew what had happened, I had pressed her body close to mine, and we were now in the woods behind school. Bella looked around with shock and fear in her eyes. I held her close to me. I would not let her go. I could never let her go, ever. She smelled so inviting, so sweet, so warm. It was too much to take. I was going to have to do this quickly before she totally lost it or before I changed my mind. I looked down at her, getting ready to do what I came here to do. Her scent filled every fiber in my body, exciting me beyond every expectation possible. Then something happened I couldn't explain. As I looked down at her, ready to let my bloodlust take over, she looked up at me with those dark, brown eyes. They seemed to hypnotize me. They were amazing. They were so beautiful. Why had I not noticed. My body tingled, and I felt this electric shock wash through my whole body. Then, she spoke in this captivating, angelic voice.

"Edward! We're in the woods! How the hell did we get in the woods? What are y--?"

Before she could finish, I was on her. My lips grazed hers softly at first, but then, a different monster took over. A monster that lusted for her body, not her blood. I had been alive for decades, but never before had I felt this way. Obviously, I had never wanted a girl passionately, let alone kissed a girl. Why this girl? Why now? It didn't matter. It was absolutely intoxicating to stand this close to her, moving my lips against her. Even more intoxicating was that fact that she kissed me back with as much fury. It all happened so fast. I was kissing the new girl, Bella, and I couldn't stop kissing her. I held her tight, pushing her up against the tree, my hands positioned on either side of her face supporting us. I started to run my hands through her hair as I kissed her deeply, moving from her mouth, to her cheek, to her earlobe, to her neck. More importantly, she continued to kiss me back with the same ferocity. I heard her whimper, and started to pull back, but she put her hand behind my head and pushed me closer to her lips.

"Edward," she whispered in my ear. "Why me?"

As she said this, it erupted something else me. _Why not her?_ She was beautiful, I realized. I had just been blind before. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I wanted her. I wanted all of her. I needed her. I loved her. I kept kissing her, with more and more fervor. "I want you Bella. So bad. I need you……I love you." _I love you_. _Did I really just say? Worse, I think I meant it. I did! I do. I love this girl, this beautiful girl._

Bella pushed away. I made a protesting noise, but I let her. "Edward. How can you? You just met me. I never really believed in love at first sight stuff…….but-" she trailed off.

"But what, Bella?" I asked, wanting to know what she was thinking. "Please! Tell me what you're thinking?" I demanded.

Bella gave in. "I can't explain it Edward, but being here with you, feels so right. I guess it's like _Romeo and Juliet_ or something. But you are so intoxicating. I think I love you to…..but it's absurd. We just met like five minutes ago, but it already feels like an eternity."

We were kissing again. At least the monster was asleep again. Bella did not realize how much danger she could truly be in at this moment. I kissed her heavily, totally intoxicated in every aspect of her. Her breath, her beating heart. I grabbed her hair, pushing her closer to me. She moaned. I loved hearing her. I brought her legs up to wrap around my waist and pushed her closer to the tree again. I licked down her neck, pulling her shirt off as I exposed her blue, lacey bra. _Nice._ I loved blue. I kissed her neck, her arms, and cupped and her soft breasts with my hands. Again, she moaned.

Then, it happened. I had been so caught up in lusting after Bella's warm body that I forgot about my bloodlust. The wind came slowly, at first, and then it sped through, whipping her hair up throwing the scent into me all at once. The monster was back. I was so confused. The part of me, that now loved Bella tried to tell me to stop, not to kill her. I had to have her alive. The other part of me could not live without drinking from her. One of these two opponents was going to win, but which one?

"Edward? Why did you stop?" She looked up at me, inviting me.

"Sorry love. I'm truly sorry." The monster took over and leaned down, piercing her skin. I heard her wince in pain as she tried to push away. The monster took pleasure in her wincing, but Edward, the one that loved Bella, did not. As the bloodlust started to win me over, all I could see were her eyes flashing before me. The smell of her hair lingered. I heard her voice like I had when she spoke to me, as if singing. I had to find the strength to stop. The monster was killing her. I didn't want to kill her. I wanted her with me forever. I loved her.

"Edward…..please," I heard her whisper, as if pleading for me to save her. "Please..Edward….don't….I …love….you." That was it. I jumped off of her with all the strength I had and slung myself against the nearest tree. I crouched there for a minute, trying to regain myself and let the monster wash away. I was stronger than I thought. I loved Bella. How dare the monster try to kill her. I was angry with that side of me, so angry. Bella was going to be okay. I had stopped before I killed her, but I knew what was coming. Then I heard the screaming coming from her, and I ran to her, regret in my eyes.

I grabbed Bella in my arms and held her close to me. I kissed her and caressed her hair. "I'm so sorry Bella. The venom is spreading now. It will be over in a few days. I promise. I am so sorry. You will be like me now."

"Edward! It hurts!" Her body wriggled in my arms, reacting to the pain.

I felt so guilty. I should have left. I should have never done this to her. She should have had a choice. I had always been so selfish.

"Hello Alice." I had heard her thoughts approaching as I sat with Bella. "So is this what you wouldn't tell me?"

She smiled sheepishly. "What would have happened if I had told you?"

"Obviously, I would have run away." Bella writhed, screaming in the pain. I looked down at her with guilt and concern.

"Obviously," she stated in a matter of fact tone.

"She's the one, Edward. The one you have been waiting for."

"I had about given up." I said this almost to myself as I looked down at Bella. She breathed heavily, as she moaned.

"I know Edward, but I hadn't."

"You knew at lunch that _she_ was going to be the love of my life, and you wouldn't share?"

"This way was better. You know I like surprises." She grinned.

"But like this Alice. It's not fair. She had no choice. I'm a monster. A beast."

"A Beast that now has his Beauty. Edward, look at her. She is beautiful." Bella lay still, but whimpered from the pain.

"I know. Why didn't I see it before?" He picked up Bella and cradled her in his arms.

"I don't think you wanted to see it, Edward. You have been alone for so long. I think you created a protective shield so that no one could break in. You didn't want to fall in love because you knew what someone would have to sacrifice to be with you, and it would have been a human you fell for. No vampire in existence had the pure heart you would have desired above all else. No vampire would have captured your heart. Edward, you are not as selfish as you think. You are the most self-less being I know, vampire or human. What's done is done. Allow yourself to be happy." She smiled.

I was speechless. I didn't know what to say. Was she right? Bella screamed out in pain. I cringed at the sound. "We need to take her to Carlisle. I just hope he won't be too disappointed in my actions."

Alice walked over to me and put her hand on my shoulder. "It will be alright. I think Carlisle will be thrilled that the family is finally complete. You found her, Edward. You found your soul mate. You will no longer be alone."

I could feel a hint of a smile cross my face. I think if I could have cried, I would have, but it would have been out of happiness. I had to finally admit that I was happy. "I know Alice. She's amazing." Then, it hit me. "Alice, what if she won't forgive me."

"She will, Edward. She will. Don't you worry." She did this as she tapped her head. She showed me a long, happy life with Bella. We were desperately in love for all eternity. Bella was just as in love with me as I was with her. We were together, and nothing else mattered.

For the next few days, I tended to Bella and she fought off the venom. Carlisle was not at all surprised. He had figured that something like this might happen one day and was thrilled I finally found her. We discussed ways to explain Bella's disappearance, and we had finally decided that we would ask Bella which action she would like to take when she awoke. So far, the best plan of action we had besides faking Bella's death was to have Bella and I move away together. Bella would have to agree and tell her family she had run away with me to an anonymous location. I liked this plan far more than faking her death, and I hated the thought of making the rest of the family move due to my weakness. Also, it would give me alone time with her.

After three days, Bella finally awoke to her new self. She opened her eyes and laid them on me. I was afraid at first. I got down on my knees and begged her forgiveness. "Bella. I am so sorry. I did this to you." I laid my head on her stomach. "Can you forgive me please? I love you so much." Bella took her hands and held my face in them as she stared at me with amazement. She had the vampire sight now and everything seemed new. She smiled and kissed me roughly. I kissed back. _I'll take that as a yes._ I thought to myself, and we kissed furiously taking in every moment of each other. She pulled my face to her as I pinned her arms against the bed. Then, Carlisle walked in and cleared his throat. We sat up, looking a little embarrassed. Carlisle just grinned and walked over to the bed.

"Hello Bella. I'm Carlisle. Welcome to the family."

Bella shook his hand. "Thanks."

Carlisle continued, "So, Bella, do you understand what's happened to you?"

She glanced over at me, and then looked at Carlisle, "I think so. I kind of figured out what Edward was when he bit me." I looked down with guilt, but Bella touched my cheek as if to say it was forgiven. "That also explained how he got into the woods so fast. So, by putting all of that together, I would say that Edward turned me into a vampire." She looked at me apologetically. "Sorry love, for reminding you. I forgive you though. I heard you an Alice talking about it." She smiled.

Carlisle was pleased. "So do you know our other plans then?"

"Yes. I would love to run off with Edward, although I hate splitting up the family."

"Don't worry, Bella. We figure that in time, you could come back here, or we would come to you. Edward deserves this time with you, I think. He has managed for too long on his own. We are quite pleased you finally arrived."

"So where do you want to go, love?" I interrupted.

Bella thought for a minute. "Hmmm. Anywhere?"

"Anywhere."

"I've always wanted to go to Scotland."

"Then Scotland it is. In fact, Carlisle and Esme own a small estate on the Isle of Skye."

"That's settled then. I'll go make flight arrangements. Bella can call her family once she has made it to Scotland." Carlisle smiled and made his exit.

"So Scotland?" I beamed at her.

"Is that okay?" As if she had to ask as she looked at me with those penetrating eyes.

"That is better than fine. I can't imagine anyone else I would want to go to Scotland with." I stared at her for a moment, hungry for her touch but resolute to ask a question.

"I want to ask you something, but it might be too soon. You do love me?"

"Yes, Edward. Without a doubt. I cannot explain it, but I know without a doubt. You are the one."

"Okay. And you definitely want _me_ forever?"

"Most definitely." She growled and started to leap up on me to kiss me.

"Hold on, Bella. Just a minute." She sighed.

"What is it?" She pondered my face.

"If that is the case, I have one request before we go to Scotland."

"Anything Edward!" She wrapped her arms around me.

"I'm going to hold you to that." I got off the bed and held her hand as I propped myself on one knee. I pulled out a small black box. Bella looked at me in shock.

"Marry me?" I asked. Bella looked dumbfounded.

"Do vampires even get married?" She looked at me inquisitively.

"Of course."

"_You_ want to marry _me_?"

"Yes, Bella. Very much so."

Bella grabbed me too her and hugged me tightly. She whispered in my ear, "Yes Edward! Yes! Of course I will marry you." I place the ring on her and beamed at her. I was so happy to finally have her. My guilt had washed away. Didn't I deserve some happiness? I did, and I would have it with Bella. We would be married and move to Scotland and live there together. All I knew is that I love Bella more than anyone could imagine, and she was mine for eternity.

I was finally, truly, happy.


End file.
